Reading Update: Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

My sister recommended this book to me many years ago, and for whatever reason, I never got to it. I truly believe it was divine intervention that caused me to finally pick up this book when I did. With six months of marriage under my belt, I am by no means wise in the means of wedded bliss but I do believe that being married brings a different- and valuable- insight to this read.

The topic of love is inexhaustible. Unrequited love. Platonic love. Devoted love. Fleeting infatuation. Intoxicating love. Lustful love. Jealous love. Selfless love. In his book, Marquez explores so many facets and helps to broaden my understanding in how love can take many forms throughout a lifetime and to question the idea that there is one true definition of love.

I think most of us are aware of the theory that Disney romance and the conventional notion of love portrayed in Hollywood films has left many generations with an unrealistic impression of love. According to the big screen, it's breathtaking and giggly, and the loving couple sails into an everlasting forever that is all smooth sailing.

Marquez reveals the "realness" of love. It's messy. It's painful. And yet, it's oh so worth pursuing. Two particular passages stood out to me, and I don't think they would have been so poignant to me prior to marriage.

"In the end they knew each other so well that by the time they had been married for thirty years they were like a single divided being, and they felt uncomfortable at the frequency with which they guessed each other's thoughts without intending to, or the ridiculous accident of one of them anticipating in public what the other was going to say. Together they had overcome the daily incomprehension, the instantaneous hatred, the reciprocal nastiness and fabulous flashes of glory in the conjugal conspiracy. It was the time when they loved each other best, without hurry or excess, when both were most conscious of and grateful for their incredible victories over adversity. Life would still present them with other mortal trials, of course, but that no longer mattered: they were on the other shore" (272). 

This passage stands out to me because a strong marriage, in fact a strong relationship of any kind, is built on kindness, honesty, and consideration. Yet, it's so true that any long-lasting relationship is not going to be smooth sailing. There will be choppy waters, and enduring those difficult times are indeed worthy of celebration and a sense of achievement.

"Over the years they both reached the same wise conclusion by different paths: it was not possible to live together in any other way, or love in any other way, and nothing in this world was more difficult than love" (270). 

The context of this passage is that a husband and wife, Dr. Juvenal Urbino and Fermina Daza respectively, have appreciated the contributions of the other. Dr. Juvenal Urbino attempts to carry out his wife's daily duties around the house, and this intelligent, successful man experiences utter failure by 11 a.m. Obviously, times have changed, and women's contributions to the home and to the marriage aren't restricted to household errands and chores, but I think the point illustrated here is critical. I think it is important between a husband and wife to discuss one another's "roles" per se and not only to ensure that things get done but to be aware of what one another is doing. If you're not aware, you're not appreciative, and if you're not appreciative, things can fall apart.

Practical Considerations:
Using this book with middle schoolers? No way.  I would even be reluctant to put this book in the hands of high schoolers because I don't think many of them have the life experience to fully appreciate Marquez's messages. In addition to the maturity of the content, Marquez's prose is difficult. He reminded me of a South American version of Hawthorne. Using this book as a gift for newlyweds? So going to happen.